Know thy child's Facebook

This past week my assistant principals and I dealt with three issues of students using Facebook to harass other students. While this was not the first instance of this type of behavior, nor will it unfortunately be the last, it is interesting how these events are blurring the lines between what happens inside and outside of the schoolhouse. These incidents, commonly referred to as "cyberbullying," include harassing/threatening posts on social-networking sites such as Facebook and MySpace, threatening instant messaging and text messages, and "sexting" (the transmission of sexually explicit images through text messaging).

A recent editorial by the LA Times entitled "Mean kids, online" states that, "Mean girls- and mean boys- have been terrorizing their classmates since the first schoolhouse was built." The new reality is that the Internet has eroded clear distinctions of physical locations, thus student harassment can extend far beyond the reaches of the school campus. The editorial points out the fact that courts have recently been reversing school disciplinary decisions where cyberbullying has occurred but not during school time or on school grounds. Furthermore, the courts state that schools have failed to prove that the behavior caused a substantial disruption to the school setting. While making the point that parents must educate their kids about cyberbullying, the piece fails to recognize that principals are charged with creating a warm, safe, and orderly school environment where all students can learn and grow. Cyberbullying is insidious, and when it goes unchecked, it can have very real negative consequences in the school setting. It invariably adds fuel to the fire, and the cycle of verbal and at times, physical harassment continues in school. Several cases in the news, the most recent being the tragedy at South Hadley High School where a 15-year old freshman committed suicide after being tormented by a group of peers both online and in person, have brought to the fore how severe the victimization can be.

With so many teenagers there does not appear to be full cognition of consequences. It's almost as if they do not understand how powerful their words are- especially now that they're in the public domain. Some make the demarcation in their minds that what is posted in cyberspace on their time cannot be addressed by the school. For example, last week when I called one young man into my office to confront him on some Facebook postings- ones that were incredibly crude and insensitive and directed at a complete stranger (whose relative emailed me the link due to her dismay)- his immediate reaction to me was, "You can't do anything about that! I did that outside of school!" While he had a point, there was still a moral responsibility to address this behavior. Luckily I had support when I shared the posting with his parents, who then in turn took appropriate action.

And that's where it all starts.... with parents in the home setting. While it is laudable that the State Legislature will soon be passing a new comprehensive anti-bullying law that envelopes cyberbullying, the first line of defense starts at home. Research consistently shows that 90% of parents claim that they regularly check what their children are doing online, but when the same kids are surveyed, only 50% say that's true. Parents must ensure that this "monitoring gap" isn't the case in their homes. I say from first-hand experience: know what your kids are posting. If your son/daughter has a Facebook account, you should too. Make sure you friend them and then have unrestricted access to all of their postings, photos, videos, etc. Know who they are talking to online and the content of their communications. Ensure that all privacy settings for your child are intact and they are not sharing personal information (e.g., home phone, cell phone, address, sibling names, etc.). These may seem like simple, common-sense measures, but it is alarming how few parents follow through on these steps.

The Massachusetts Aggression Reduction Center (MARC) at Bridgewater State College has published a document on avoiding and responding to problems on Facebook. It may be found be clicking here.