The (Dis)Connected Generation?

"Jumping off the gw bridge sorry"

These disturbing words were the last status update that Tyler Clementi, 18, a Rutgers University freshman, posted to his Facebook page hours before taking his own life by jumping off the George Washington Bridge. As I am sure you have heard of this tragic story recently in the press, Clementi was distraught after being cyberbullied by his roommate and the roommate's friend.

There are also recent reports of four teenage suicides in the past two years, all of the teens being students at Mentor High School in Mentor, OH. According to several accounts, these students experienced extreme cases of bullying where they were hate was constantly spewed at them verbally and online due to their nationality, appearance, dress, likes, and sexual orientation. To same that these students were dehumanized by the bullies would be an understatement.

Therefore, I read an article in this morning's Boston Globe entitled, "The Empathy Deficit" with great interest. The author, Keith O'Brien, makes the point that today's youth are connected to one another more than ever (vis-a-vis cell phones, texting, IM, social networking, etc.), however, recent research from the University of Michigan shows that college students today are 40% less empathetic than they were in 1979, with the sharpest decline occurring in the last 10 years. Additionally they note that more college aged students tend to be narcissistic. The researchers find plenty of ironies here, as student-to-student communication and access to one another has never been better. Nonetheless, many admit that “other people’s misfortunes” usually don’t disturb them. In other words, they might be constantly aware of their friends’ whereabouts, but all that connectedness doesn’t seem to be translating to genuine concern for the world and one another.

Think about the role empathy plays in our lives... and the quality that it brings to all of our social/emotional interactions. Now think of a world where fewer and fewer people understand social norms, etiquette, and downright human decency because empathy was somehow not properly instilled. Is this recent spate of bullying to tragic consequences- where victims are dehumanized- part of the larger trend of lack of empathy?

Like most problems in the world, you probably cannot blame only one factor for this apparent problem. As O'Brien writes in the article:

These students...would have been born in the 1980s, raised in the ’90s on video games, 24-hour cable television, and widespread divorce, and sent off to college with laptops and cellphones — the young pioneers of the digital age. Perhaps, some suggest, technology has connected them in one sense, but pushed them away from each other in another. “It’s very shallow, a lot of these connections,” said Jean Twenge, coauthor of “The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement.” “You don’t really have an emotional connection with someone on Facebook.”

Perhaps, others argue, the problem is the advent of 24-hour cable and Internet news; young people today have been inundated with news to the point that they cannot care anymore. The oil spill in Louisiana this week, the flood in Pakistan next week — the tragedies all run together, making it harder to care in any sort of sustained way. Parenting could also be at fault, Konrath speculated. Perhaps today’s less empathetic children were raised by more narcissistic parents. Or the problem could be a hypercompetitive world in which everyone is trying to get into the best schools, get ahead, get more.

The ideas in the above quote very much resonate with me, as I see it everyday. It didn't surprise to read a recent study by the Pew Research Center that found that today's teens text more than they talk. I can think of many times I have picked up my teenage daughter from a social gathering, and as I see her sitting with her friends, they are all feverishly texting (each other??), often having multiple text conversations simultaneously. Seeing this depresses me.... what ever happened to good ol' conversation??

No one believes in the limitless possibilities of technology to improve teaching and learning more than me. However, I see the dark side of technology as well, as I fear that for some, it has replaced the foundation of what makes us human. Nothing is more important than the ability to engage, to communicate, to relate.... face to face. Without that ability, there can be no empathy.

Today's youth need a world not only with empathy- but one with compassion, wisdom, and patience as well. This comes only from quality relationships with adults who have invested in their lives, not from a "friend" on a social networking site.